John Alan Turner

Speaker, Author, Mentor, Coach, Facilitator

How Now Shall I Live?

A few days ago I finished the parenting book. It felt pretty good to hit send on that last chapter. There's still a reading list and acknowledgments, but the content is done. It took me more than two years, and I read close to 100 books in the process. The book has become a part of my life. So many of the things I've done have been filtered through this question: How will this help me finish the parenting book? I constantly asked myself if something was helping me write the book or distracting me from writing the book.

But now it's done. And I don't know what to do with myself.

I sat around the house yesterday. I read a novel. I helped my daughters roller skate in the driveway. I made dinner. I watched a football game. And around every corner I expected to encounter my familiar mantra: must finish parenting book. But it is finished.

I know it won't be long before I get back to work. I've got three trips in January and three more in February. I'll be back doing 5-Hour Workshops -- training churches in how to use curriculum for 252Basics and reach out to families in their community more effectively. But I wonder how long it will be before the next book idea starts to really take shape. I have several ideas bouncing around my head. I wonder what the next big thing will be. Where will the next opportunity come from?

For now, I'm resting. I'm not checking my email much. I haven't returned any calls since before Christmas. I don't know what I'm doing. I feel restless. I need something, but I don't know what it is. I'm not hungry, but I eat. I feel sluggish and tired.

Now that the book is done, I feel aimless.

How now shall I live?