John Alan Turner

Speaker, Author, Mentor, Coach, Facilitator

You Know You're in Rural Ohio When... hear this sentence: "Some Amish dude put a goat in my ditch."

My friend Kevin uttered those words on our way to the Chinese Buffet in Dover, OH. There were mashed potatoes and gravy on the Chinese Buffet. I'm not kidding.

It took me a second for my brain to wrap itself around all the oddities contained within those nine short words.

"Some Amish dude put a goat in my ditch."

There are just so many things wrong in that statement. Frankly, I was stunned -- like a deer in the headlights. Where do I even begin to process what I've just been told?

By the time my brain had caught up, Kevin had moved on to his next sentence:

"So, I'm out in my front yard in my underwear at 11:00 at night with a baseball bat."

...because that's what you do when an Amish dude puts a goat in your ditch?