Believing But Not Trusting
I spent some time over the weekend trying to think about what my life would be like if I just trusted Jesus as my Savior but not enough to let him be my Leader. Here's a short list: I would probably be cynical about church, and I probably wouldn't believe that the Christian life actually works.
I would do everything I could to cover up the fact that I was spiritually empty, dry and unsatisfied.
I would be passive and apathetic.
I would have good intentions, but I would lack follow-through.
I would focus on my needs, my rights, my options.
I would arrange my life around my personal preferences.
I would rather be a spectator -- observing meticulously (and frequently complaining) but never actually participating.
I would compartmentalize my life to make sure stuff in the church box stayed in the church box and didn't bleed over into the work, home and leisure boxes.
I would become an expert at going through the motions, doing what is expected out of habit.
I would be barren, and it would bother me every once in a while -- just a little.
I would be extremely frustrated, but I wouldn't realize it's because I'm serving two masters.
I would be proud of how self-sufficient and independent I am.
I would refuse to commit so I could keep my options open -- just in case.
I would have no real clear direction or sense of purpose, drifting through life.
I would secretly hope that there could be more to it than what I've experienced.
Sound familiar? Sounds like a lot of people I know. This list didn't take me long to put together at all -- and the reason is because I've been there -- learning but not doing, believing but not trusting.
Did I miss anything?