How to Get Where You Want to Go
“So, what do you really want?”
I always get around to asking this question with new clients. It’s kind of my starting point — after we get all the preliminaries out of the way. By now they’ve told me a bit about what’s going on at home and at work, where they live, where they’re from, where they went to school, and what they do.
I’ll find a break in the conversation, take a breath, and ask, “So, what do you really want?”
It’s amazing how few people can actually answer this deceptively simple question, which is one reason why I know there’s job security in what I do.
The first step to getting what you want is, obviously, knowing what you want. I help clients all the time identify what they want most, so we can come up with a plan to go get it. If they have the guts to actually do it.
What follows here is a rough outline of that plan.
Your daily routine is the most important factor to determining whether or not you’ll achieve your dreams. So, you must begin with that. Is what you are doing today going to take you closer to or farther away from the life you want to live? Have you done anything today that will get you one step closer to that life?
Building a daily to-do list with intentionality and an end goal in mind helps keep you from wasting time and energy on things that don’t really matter. They might be urgent, but are they important? Make sure your low-level and mid-level tasks all contribute in some way to the overall ideal outcome for your life. Be ruthless.
Before adding a task, a meeting, or an item to your life, ask yourself: “Is this an opportunity or a distraction?” Be honest, and, if it is a distraction, do not add it to your list. Life is too short to not be doing the things that take you where you want to go.
Now that you’ve got a good, solid to-do list in your hands, try imagining yourself having that life you want. Go on. I know it can feel a little bit cheesy, but there’s real power in envisioning your future in the present. Can you imagine how it will feel to have that freedom? That courage? That peace?
I used to make fun of people who do this, but I now see the value in seeking out inspirational quotes, photos, images, etc. — anything that will help you link what you are doing right now with where you ultimately want to be. These can be everyday reminders that help refocus, reset, and remain present when outside forces try to pull you off task and off track.
Now the last thing you truly need to do to get the life you want is going to sound a little self-serving, but I’m going to say it anyway.
You need a wing man. Or a wing woman. Or a wing person.
You need someone with whom you can share and discuss your dreams, your plans, your goals, and your challenges. It doesn’t have to be me — although I am honored to serve in this capacity for a number of folks — but it has to be someone you can trust enough to share your biggest aspirations and concerns. Whoever it is must have the ability and willingness to ask you hard questions, to let you know when they see you getting off track, to offer you suggestions about how to stay focused on where you’re going while staying present where you are.
Whatever it is you want your life to be — whether you want to be an entrepreneur or a helping professional or just more fulfilled in your life — knowing the one thing that drives all your choices, actions, and decisions gives you the clarity you need to create and sustain momentum, passion, and perseverance to live the life you’ve always wanted.
Leave me a note below. I’d love to hear what it is you’d like your life to be about and how you plan on getting there.